How to meet girls and get them to photo you hucking stouts.

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How to meet girls and get them to photo you hucking stouts.

I apologize to those who misunderstood the intention of, “How to meet girls and get them to photo you hucking stouts.” Was it sexist? Sexism is the blatant part. The full intent of the blog was to expose whilst poking fun at self-labeling “pro-kayakers” who believe that because they are great kayakers that they can use those around them. And this is not limited to using women as the blog graphically satirizes.

Read more “Pro-kayaker or Pretender?”

Step 1:  Sit next to cute girls and get them curious to watch kayak videos of you running stouts.

Teresa from the midwest did not talk much but seemed interested in watching the huckstars. As a pre-med student the kayakers realized she had great potential to fund their lifestyles. But could she take a photo?

Goto the typical gringo spots:  Mamas y Tapas, Lat 39, or Ecole. Sit next to cute girls at a restaurant table and start watching videos of yourself running stouts. It’s important that you create a level of curiosity of what’s being watched.

If you don’t have impressive videos of yourself then just view any kayak videos and pretend that the video is of you. These girls never knew the difference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step 2:  Invite girls back to Pucon Kayak Hostel for Drinking Games at the “Quincho”

Cali-girl Mika is tricked by kayakers into having fun and taking video of them hucking Middle Palguin.

“Hey, we’re going back to our quincho for an asado and some drinks. Do you want to join us?” They probably have nothing better to do and will ask, “What’s a quincho and an asado?” Now’s your chance to be smooth, “Oh we’re staying at this super cool place with a big fugon (fire place) for asados or Chilean style barbecues. We usually chill there before hitting the bars around one-ish.” Let the night take you where it will. Remember girls only talk about “black out drunks” in the context of “That guy.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step 3:  Invite girls to waterfalls and hotsprings the next day.

Canada's Cristin Plaice volunteers to take photos at Middle Palguin.

“Hey we’re going to run some stout waterfalls and then hit the hotsprings tomorrow night… wanna join us. The trails are cool to hike.” Unless they are hiking the volcano you running a pristine cascade is probably their best adventure option. If you are a real kayaker then your interest in the girls is to get them to take photos or videos of you hucking that stout. The girls in this blog were perfect. Not only were they attractive they also knew how to aim a camera.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step 4:  Let them have some fun too!

Mika crosses the sketchy Middle Palguin bridge.

 

This is the hard step for most kayakers. Remember to suggest fun things they can do to entertain themselves while you are kayaking. This is a combination of your own creativity and your group needs.

  • Do you need a shuttle?
  • Is there a hike they can do?
  • What about a cool rock slide?
  • Teach them how to take a photo of you with your camera.

But you don’t want them to have too much fun! It’d be a bummer if they miss taking your photo.

Note- Your a kayaker! GF BAD! Don’t get lured in by their long hair and beautiful white teeth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Natural rockslides are great ways for cute girls to entertain themselves while you fire up some stouts. Teresa, a pre-med student, with her potential to fund kayaking plus her photo taking skills resulted in two kayakers proposing to her. Note how happy she looks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step 5:  Someone has to fire up that Stout!

Hunt Jennings states, "Girls take time away from my kayaking." Jennings fires the stout for the group and the girls are ready to shed some clothes at the hotsprings.

By now you and your friends have talked so much shite and hype that someone has to do something impressive. Here are a few ways to heighten the hype:

  • Spend lots of time setting up camera angles and direct everyone around you.
  • Act nervous yet act as if you’ve done this a thousand times.
  • Walk to the lip a few times.
  • Make gestures with your hand like it’s your kayak going off the drop.
  • Bend over and stretch… let her catch a glimpse of what’s under your spray skirt.
  • Do some pushups.
  • Take off your helmet and douse your hair.
  • Ask for a shoulder massage. But only a little… you want to save the massage for the hotsprings.
If you’ve followed the system then the girls should be ready to hop into bikinis at the hotsprings. Once in the hotsprings begin rolling your shoulder as if cramped. If she doesn’t notice try a light groan to bring attention to you. Your goal is to get her to offer the shoulder rub without asking.

Directions to Pucon Chile.

You are invited to the warm hospitality of Pucon Kayak Hostel.

Best Selling Programs:

Pucon Kayaking Hat Trick

Directions to Pucon Chile.

You are invited to the warm hospitality of Pucon Kayak Hostel.

Best Selling Programs:

Hunt Jennings, Justin Kelberg, Blair Trotman, Lorenzo Astorga, and Jake Greenbaum on a mission to run Todo Nevados, Puesco and Palguin in one day.

 

By Hunt Jennings

As one of the premier creeking destinations in the world Pucon offers endless classic white water all in a close proximity. Being such a popular destination makes it hard to accomplish things in kayaking that really stand out.   So our group, having been in Pucon for several days, started thinking about what we could do to go bigger, and experience an epic day in Pucon.

Todo Nevados + Todo Puesco + Todo Palguin … One Day!

Finally, we came to the conclusion that we wanted to knock out three of the most quality runs in the area in one day. Our goals: Todo Nevados, Todo Puesco, and Todo Palguin; starting at the uppermost put ins and taking out at the last take outs.   These three rivers are each a challenge by themselves. Each have challenging rapids and technical drops, and present a wide variety of white water. Our group started with five paddlers, and we began to make plans the night before. The order would be Nevados, Puesco, and Palguin. We found shuttle, a shuttle driver, and some one to take pictures and video for the day all hanging out at Pucon Kayak Hostel. Excitement and a little nervousness kept us all up late thinking about the next day. We had three big tasks in front of us, and two highlight drops that were definitely on everyone’s mind: the infamous Demshitz Drop, and Middle Palguin. The excitement level was high that morning as we loaded the PKH Astro Van, and ready to go by 8 am.  Five put in on the Upper Nevados.

Lorenzo Astorga on Upper Nevado's Cali slide.

 

“Our goal was to stay smooth and fast, not sprinting, but in the current moving, drifting, and boofing.”

The upper gorge went well, and we started into the middle section with the classic Nevados slide. Smooth lines were had by all, and in what seemed like only a few minutes, we were at the take out to the Upper/Middle Nevados, right above the entrance to Demshitz Drop. Three of us stayed in our boats, knowing we were running Demshitz, and already confident with the line, we decided to just go with out a scout.

Jake Greenbaum firing first on Demshitz, Rio Nevado.

As we rolled into the Demshitz Drop Jake looked back and said, “Give me 15 seconds! See you at the bottom!”

One after another, the three of us fired off the first big crux of the day, spaced only 15 seconds apart from each other. With solid lines by all, we waited in the pool for our fourth teammate, who also had a super solid line, and then informed us that the fifth member of the group decided not to run Demshitz, and would meet us at the takeout.

Blair Trotman styling Demshitz drop after a quick scout..
Hunt Jennings styling Diablito.

We peeled out, and had a super fun run down the rest of the lower Nevados, and took out with huge smiles and high fives. “One down, two to go,” some one said as we were loading up. And off we were to the next goal.

The stoke is high after run one is done..

The drive from the Nevados to the Puesco took about an hour, and having fueled up with food and water on the way, we got to the put in ready to go. Due to a broken boat on the Nevados, only four of us put on the Puesco.

Boofing big just after Tres Troncos..

The Puesco, has super continuous class IV/V boulder gardens, with a little bit of a break separating the upper and lower sections.

Charging down the Puesco.

We got into a super sick pace on this run, blue angeling, staying close, staying fast, and keeping our bows up! One of us took out before the lower section, and met us at the take out, but three continued to the bottom completing Todo Puesco, and knocking the second river out of the way. Everyone was still super stoked, and charged up for the grand finale: Todo Palguin.

At this point, Jake, Lorenzo, and myself were the only ones to have finished both todo runs, and we were super focused and ready to complete the dream!

Five put in again at the Upper Palguin put in, and cruised through the Upper section. At the end of the upper, two took out again, and Jake, Lorenzo, and myself continued downstream.

 

"Look I can fly..." Lorenzo Astorga jumps at Upper Palguin's Exportage.
Jumping off of Exportage drop.

When we got to Boof to Swim, Jake went first, followed by myself, then Lorenzo, and we all paddled down to the 70 footer together. This was our last crux of the day. After scouting for a few minutes, we all knew we wanted it, and were going to run the drop. I was trying to decide whether to run stout 10 or seal launch. Jake decided that he was for sure going to run stout 10, so I volunteered to go first and hold onto my paddle so Jake and Lorenzo could have safety. This was a pretty cool feeling, knowing I was going first, and that the smoothness, and safety of our runs would depend somewhat on me sticking my line, and staying in my boat. I seal launched in, and had a pretty good line, but took a bigger hit than usual. Nevertheless, I rolled up in my boat fist pumped and waited for the rest.

Hunt Jennings firing first on Middle Palguin.

Jake went next, absolutely styling stout 10, floating smoothly to the lip, and had a sick line, rolling up stoked at the bottom.

Jake, charged up on this day, fires up Stout 10..
Sick line on Stout 10 followed by a sick line on Middle Palguin.

Lorenzo went next and also had a super sick line, with a snappy hand roll to fist pump at the bottom!

Lorenzo Astorga styling Middle Palguin and the day is almost complete.

All super stoked and relieved, we had a super fun paddle through the lower Palguin, and made it to the take out to meet the rest of the group. Everyone was incredibly stoked, and a feeling of accomplishment and completion came over the whole group. These are the days that we live for. Commitment, team work, and support from the whole group made this possible, and nothing feels better at the end of the day than knowing you set out with a goal and came back having accomplished it exactly the way you planned, sticking one drop at a time.

Thanks to Pucon Kayak Hostel for providing transportation for the mission, and to everyone else that made this possible! Super stoked to be able to do this with my buddies Jake Greenbaum, and Lorenzo Astorga!

Mission accomplished!!!!!

By Hunt Jennings

Directions to Pucon Chile.

You are invited to the warm hospitality of Pucon Kayak Hostel.

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