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How to meet girls and get them to photo you hucking stouts.
I apologize to those who misunderstood the intention of, “How to meet girls and get them to photo you hucking stouts.” Was it sexist? Sexism is the blatant part. The full intent of the blog was to expose whilst poking fun at self-labeling “pro-kayakers” who believe that because they are great kayakers that they can use those around them. And this is not limited to using women as the blog graphically satirizes.
Read more “Pro-kayaker or Pretender?”
Step 1: Sit next to cute girls and get them curious to watch kayak videos of you running stouts.
Goto the typical gringo spots: Mamas y Tapas, Lat 39, or Ecole. Sit next to cute girls at a restaurant table and start watching videos of yourself running stouts. It’s important that you create a level of curiosity of what’s being watched.
If you don’t have impressive videos of yourself then just view any kayak videos and pretend that the video is of you. These girls never knew the difference.
Step 2: Invite girls back to Pucon Kayak Hostel for Drinking Games at the “Quincho”
“Hey, we’re going back to our quincho for an asado and some drinks. Do you want to join us?” They probably have nothing better to do and will ask, “What’s a quincho and an asado?” Now’s your chance to be smooth, “Oh we’re staying at this super cool place with a big fugon (fire place) for asados or Chilean style barbecues. We usually chill there before hitting the bars around one-ish.” Let the night take you where it will. Remember girls only talk about “black out drunks” in the context of “That guy.”
Step 3: Invite girls to waterfalls and hotsprings the next day.
“Hey we’re going to run some stout waterfalls and then hit the hotsprings tomorrow night… wanna join us. The trails are cool to hike.” Unless they are hiking the volcano you running a pristine cascade is probably their best adventure option. If you are a real kayaker then your interest in the girls is to get them to take photos or videos of you hucking that stout. The girls in this blog were perfect. Not only were they attractive they also knew how to aim a camera.
Step 4: Let them have some fun too!
This is the hard step for most kayakers. Remember to suggest fun things they can do to entertain themselves while you are kayaking. This is a combination of your own creativity and your group needs.
- Do you need a shuttle?
- Is there a hike they can do?
- What about a cool rock slide?
- Teach them how to take a photo of you with your camera.
But you don’t want them to have too much fun! It’d be a bummer if they miss taking your photo.
Note- Your a kayaker! GF BAD! Don’t get lured in by their long hair and beautiful white teeth.
Step 5: Someone has to fire up that Stout!
By now you and your friends have talked so much shite and hype that someone has to do something impressive. Here are a few ways to heighten the hype:
- Spend lots of time setting up camera angles and direct everyone around you.
- Act nervous yet act as if you’ve done this a thousand times.
- Walk to the lip a few times.
- Make gestures with your hand like it’s your kayak going off the drop.
- Bend over and stretch… let her catch a glimpse of what’s under your spray skirt.
- Do some pushups.
- Take off your helmet and douse your hair.
- Ask for a shoulder massage. But only a little… you want to save the massage for the hotsprings.